what is being a hikikomori? the real situation

Hello, I am a 17-year-old student of Mexican nationality, I am here because I came across the term hikikomori by chance and it caused me a lot of intrigue, I decided to investigate this, but the information in Spanish that I found I feel that it does not reflect the true hikikomori, I decided to investigate on my own account and get here, I have decided to investigate as much as I can, in a neutral way and not only with studies, with testimonies, because I would like to expose it in my school and maybe make a video about it, explain to people what It really means, I also think that this term can already be extended to the whole world, thousands of young people live this in the world and I want to know how it is dealt with there in Japan, because the culture is totally different from the Mexican one. I want to know what it is to be hikikomori at the hands of oneself, I do this with an absolute good intention, I want to make the truth known and I do this with all the respect in the world, I would really appreciate your support, however minimal I know it will be very helpful, I really hope not to be a bother or bother you since it is what I least want, I read in the frequently asked questions that I can be here without being hikikomori, this is also one of the reasons why I decided to do so, I write this with I am a translator since I am really bad at English, I hope you understand what I mean and do not get out of context, thank you very much. ^ u ^

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Hola!:smile:
I welcome your visit.(๑╹◡╹๑)ノ♬

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Welcome. To Hikikomori Village.
I am very happy to participate with respect and interest.

What is Hikikomori? This is difficult to explain in short words.
There are so many books written about the theme of hikikomori in Japan.

However, since I’m just one person and I don’t have enough knowledge to talk to that extent, I simply write what I thought.

The withdrawal phenomenon is a manifestation of the mental immaturity that the Japanese have sacrificed in exchange for social success.

I’m not good at English either, so I’ll be exchanging via machine translation, but I’d like to answer as much as I can. Thank you:slightly_smiling_face:

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hello, thank you very much for receiving me, an apology for my late response

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Hello, thank you very much for your answer, I am very grateful and happy. I would like to know how you get to the point of being a hikikomori, and how the family reacts to it? Since here in Mexico, in terms of isolation, I really don’t think it would be possible, hahaha, Mexican moms take you out by force, the culture is very different, my mother would not allow me to stay more than 2 days locked in my room

Don’t worry about it!(^o^)
We are supporting you.:wink:

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My case was that I couldn’t go to school first. For relationships at school and my mental problems. I was 15 years old. My memories are a bit vague because it’s a long time ago, but my mother was worried about me as a family reaction. I was cautioned several times to go to school.

My father was completely indifferent at first. But my father also scolded me. Because my mother urged my father. It was unilateral and not dialogue at all. I also reacted defiantly, and surprisingly since then my father has stopped saying anything.
My mother didn’t force me to go to school.

Mothers are strong in Mexico, right? Forced to take you outside in just two days? Is that normal in a Mexican home? Is it bad for me to spend so much in my room?

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but your parents didn’t try to ask you the reason why you behaved like this or find a solution??

Someone else tried to talk to you, maybe a cousin or friend, a relative?

Actually, here we all have a very strong character, especially us women, for example, when I had problems at school (stress and a bit of depression haha) about 3 years ago, my whole family came to talk to me, including My uncles and grandparents supported me by telling me that before everything else I should be fine, I think that makes a difference, here in Mexico, the family is above all things, we are very very attached

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At that time, no one could speak. I didn’t have a cousin and I didn’t have any relatives. I had a few friends, but no one could talk about psychological problems.

Umty also had a psychological problem about three years ago. However, there were many people around you who became really kind. That is the turning point.

There is a person in Japan Tamaki Saito, a psychiatrist famous for the problem of hikikomori. The advice to the person’s parents is not a sermon but a dialogue. But, unfortunately, most parents in Japan continue to attack children by standing on the values side of society rather than talking.

Therefore, withdraw from society first and then parents.

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It is really difficult to carry all that alone, right? even more when you’re little.

I wonder, how did you feel when you had to go out and socialize, when you didn’t want to?
Have you ever told your parents your angry or resentful thoughts for not supporting you adequately?

I agree. It’s very difficult to solve alone. Thank you.

I basically avoided the situation where I had to go out and socialize, but when I had to go out, I managed to go out. Even if there is anxiety or fear. When my feelings are not deeply depressed and I am relatively well.

I complained to my parents several times. Just hitting anger or resentment usually returns anger and hurt each other. Neither I nor my parents know how to talk. At my request, I also talked to my father with a counselor, but at some point it also stopped.

I am grateful that my father has answered my request. However, I wanted my father to think that there was a need for dialogue not only from me. This is probably also the loneliness my mother feels.

From what you say is difficult for everyone …

And in order to improve the hikikomori condition that you do, of course this is in your experience, when you have a relapse or you feel quite bad, what do you do?

I am using medical help to improve from my Hikikomori condition. Medicine and counseling. However, the drug is not a fundamental solution, and there are secondary problems such as side effects and dependence of the drug. It may only be a temporary cheat. However, I think it has helped me to survive.

I maintain a minimum level of health by doing light exercise and practicing musical instruments every day.
So, about twice a week, I go out and spend time in a space with people.
I also think that running this site has benefited from my mental withdrawal.
Once again, thank you for participating:slightly_smiling_face:

I can’t do anything when I’m very depressed, so I just lie down and listen to quiet piano music.

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In case someone else is looking for accurate information in English about the Japanese hikikomori “culture”, Nobita-san’s video here was very good, and there are lots of other YouTubers who cover the topic as well.

Japan is a great place in some ways, and really terrible in others. Its unique sides are something everyone interested in anthropology, and not just the Japanese themselves, would like to preserve, but some things really have to change. Medical problems and standing out have to stop being a taboo for starters. The system of education needs to become more humane as well.

It’s not going to solve everyone’s problems, but I’m in a situation where I can offer an alternative to someone who is caught in a bad place. I know there are people who really want to move away from Japan.